You Are My Friend But In My Business, I Do Not Know You

Catching up on old questions/posts. One good one had to do with how to handle friends who become clients to make sure friendship stays solid and yet have the client relationship remain businesslike. This issue applies with business friend.

There is an old saying that goes, “business and friend do not mix well”. While this seems like a pretty benign statement, it is not until you are in the middle of the effects of mixing business and family that this statement truly gains it’s meaning. I have recently exited a business transaction with a family member, and have learned (once again) a valuable lesson in the process. I have constantly ignored the warnings of mixing business and family, hoping that somehow the new transaction would follow a different pattern. However, without fail the same challenges and issues ultimately occur which draw the transaction to a pre-mature conclusion. In this article, I have listed the Top 5 reasons why business and family do not mix, and should not be attempted.

YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT STARTING that flower shop with your best friend for years. Or perhaps you and your brother are finally ready to open that restaurant you dreamed of endlessly when you were still sharing a room at home.
　　
Now that you're in the start-up phase, the real issues of running a business with a close friend or family member are upon you. How will you stay friends? How will you separate your work life from your home life? How do you avoid a bleak failure that will haunt your Thanksgiving dinner table for years to come?
　　
Family business experts echo one definitive piece of advice for startups: Communicate. Get everything out upfront, draft contracts and have discussions where you dissect every possible business scenario. "This should all be done in a very nonjudgmental environment," says Jim Ellis, director of the Family Business Program at the University of Southern California. "[You] need to discuss those issues upfront, when nobody's got an ax to grind and there's no emotional situation--because there will be emotions later on, without question."
　　
Because business should be business and there is no room for making friends and socializing. Friendship interferes with a business relationship by keeping people from making the right business choice for the sake of the friendship.
　　
I say, "No way!" Friends understand the business decisions you have to make because they sometimes have had to make the same ones. If they cannot, they are not a friend!
　　
For me, the issue is clear:
　　
Be explicit about when you are being a friend/family member and when you are being a business partner/client/vendor. Avoid mixing the two by being explicit:
　　
“I’m your friend, but right now I’m talking to you as your web designer….”
　　
There is a great saying I read on a bus in Kenya, posted by the bus driver (in a country where family ties and friendships run deep):
　　
You are my friend, yes.You are my cousin, yes.But in my business, I do not know you.
　　
Going into business with friends or family? Prepare for disaster. If you're naive -- er, I mean optimistic -- enough to think you can make it work, be sure you can handle the business pitfalls that can damage a personal relationship.
　　
Businesses outgrow relationships: In running a business -- especially a startup -- success comes from assembling the best team you can. Unless you know your friend or family member can deliver the product at the quality level you need, you're shooting yourself in the foot by hiring them instead of someone else. Even if their work is top notch, you may have to fire them if your strategic direction changes and they're no longer a good fit.
　　
An entrepreneur client started a business with his high school best friend. By the 300th employee, the company had completely revamped its original business plan. The best friend's skills became irrelevant, but he was still a six-figure salary drain on the company. Through no fault of his own, he became redundant, and the owner wasn't prepared to fire his buddy.
　　
In business, there's only one boss; it's your money and your sweat equity on the line, and you'll have opinions on what the business needs. Your friends and family members may not agree. During disagreements, you may have to choose between what's best for the business and what's best for the relationship. Business partners argue over control constantly, but the stakes are higher when personal ties are on the line.
　　
Personally, I have had the pleasure of getting to know people from all over the world. Interesting people. Professionally, I have learned from all these people and some of them have become my customers. When you build this relationship, you also build trust and people will be more likely to buy from someone they trust.
　　
Treat everyone you meet with respect, courtesy and consideration. This will go a long way in building friendships and your business. Because in doing this, you are building yourself, your reputation and your character. If you appear aloof and rigid, you will be looked upon with skepticism and mistrust. This will do nothing for your business or reputation, but it will probably keep you from making any friends. If that is your goal, you will then do well.
　　
I have written several articles on how we should treat each other because I have seen some people be rude or even downright cruel to others for absolutely no reason. I guarantee a person with that kind of outlook and attitude will not get far in the business world or their personal life.
　　
When I first came online, I was amazed by how much people were willing to help others and how so many people built online friendships. It was one of the things that attracted me to this business.