What works when negotiating a business deal?

Q I've read that the key to negotiation is to never go alone and always understand what the other party needs, not just what they say they want.

What have you found effective when negotiating a deal?

A It helps to have someone with you, but don't leave the negotiation to a professional advisor; you are the best person to judge the right deal.

The right price isn't just about price/earnings ratios or valuing the balance sheet; all that matters is what it's worth to you. If you plan to buy a business, before starting any discussions, get to know as much as you can about your acquisition target.

Don't just sit at a desk pouring over their figures. Experience the business first-hand. In my case, that has always meant visiting lots of the target's shops. You want to know more about the business than the person who's selling it.

Don't be too greedy; people who try to drive a hard bargain don't always finish up doing the deal. There's nothing wrong with being friendly with the opposite side; you're much more likely to reach an agreement with someone whom you like. Get to know the person you're negotiating with and work out what they really want out of the deal. If possible, try to achieve the right result for both sides, so that everyone is a winner.

Be wary when bidding for a business that's doing well. You will probably pay a fancy price and will have to work hard to get any return on your investment. As long as you have a turnaround plan, it's almost always better to buy poor-performing companies. It can be tough bargaining with the owner of a private business; people negotiating on behalf of public companies aren't dealing with their own money.

Once you finally agree the heads of terms, keep an eagle eye on your lawyers, who are apt to start a totally new round of negotiations, supposedly on your behalf, with the law firm acting for the other side. Keep close contact with your opposite number – the new best friend who has agreed the deal – to make sure that this legal bickering doesn't drive a wedge between you.

With luck you will sign a contract that follows your original agreement, but be warned: most lawyers will make sure that the exchange of contracts takes place in the middle of the night.

Five essential elements of scalable enterprise applications

Scalability has traditionally been about shifting resources or capacity up or down depending on demand. In the industrial era, it applied to factories and supply chains. Today, it increasingly means the ability to dynamically deliver the right amount of IT to support whatever your business needs, wherever it needs it. Waiting for new software or hardware to be set up or provisioned can be a death knell in a climate of massive business and digital disruption. If you can't move fast enough, your competitors probably can and will.

The ability to rapidly adjust capacity is one of the prime benefits of cloud-based enterprise software. It enables users to immediately adapt to changes in size and/or usage needs. In a cloud environment, applications are responsive to users in a way that traditional software can't be.

Since scalability is a fundamental requirement for supporting a growing organization, it needs to be an essential ingredient in how its enterprise application vendors build their products. That said, there are fundamental differences between different types of applications, and their scalability capabilities need to reflect that. Business critical enterprise applications like financials and HCM must be able to keep pace with overall enterprise growth and change, but in some cases they have vastly different types of requirements.

In HR, for example, there are seasonal needs such as open enrollment, annual reviews, tax requirements, and other cyclical events that change the required computing bandwidth of the system throughout a given calendar year.

Financial data, on the other hand, tends to grow rapidly, and has high transaction throughput requirements and heavy data analysis needs. Critical data around quarterly and year-end reporting is almost always growing — more data points, more connectedness among financials categories, and increased insight into what the numbers mean. CFOs increasingly rely on their financials applications as their daily dashboard for the business. Therefore, expectations are high, and businesses need to be able to deliver those systems on demand.

The challenge for cloud application vendors is to address these differences without having to restructure their architectures. The cloud applications that are scalable for today's needs were developed by vendors that have built their offerings on innovative architectural styles and technologies that allow their apps to be small and distributed, rather than monolithic and complicated. Here are five key attributes of truly agile cloud architectures:

Microservices: A microservices approach is the best way for a cloud vendor to build a foundation for scale. Shrinking and splitting apart large services to create new ones means that an application can better source and handle higher volumes of transactions. The services needed are the ones used for any given application need. As demand increases, the additional required processing activity can be distributed over these different services.

Open standards APIs: Look for vendors that support open standards-based APIs to allow complete programmatic access to business operations and processes, all in the form of services. It is optimal if they use an integration format (SOAP or REST) that enables microservices to be interoperable with leading client-side languages and integration middleware platforms.

Grid computing: Grid computing enables parallel distributed processing for jobs like payroll, financial close processing, report runs, and other types of transactions. A cloud architecture with in-memory computing gives the ability to process and analyze large sets of queries, aggregations, and other activities over very large data sets.

Enterprise Service Bus (ESB): Core enterprise applications don't exist as an island, so they need to integrate with other applications and services. To power and coordinate a scalable, services-based architecture, applications should be able to rely on an ESB that enables integrations to scale and interconnect, and that supports industry standards, protocols, and formats. The ESB should provide universal connectivity for all types of business applications, information, and processes.

Availability: There is a certain irony that the greater the need for an application, the more important it is for the application to be available. In order to scale, it's important for a cloud environment to operate in an architecture where potential points of failure are distributed. The cloud provides an optimal delivery and management environment in which to deploy modularized services, and that helps add new services and adapt existing ones as scale is needed.

We may never see the limits of how far-reaching enterprise applications can be, but there is no doubt that there will continue to be a hunger for more — more data, more availability, more usage, and more functionality. Organizations will need to make use of innovative technologies and optimized software architectures to remain scalable, and therefore, valuable to their customers.

The reinvention of teamwork

Disruption is the buzzword of business.

And why wouldn't it be, when tech-centric companies like Amazon, Uber, Netflix and Twitter are transforming the way we shop, travel, play and communicate?

Perhaps your business is trying to disrupt itself. If not, then you can be sure that someone else's is, and chances are they're doing it with quite different teamwork practices than what you treat as the norm.

Is it technology that's making the difference inside these disruptive companies? Yes, to the extent that product technology supports their exponential growth. However, inside the company, everyone has the same access to pretty much the same technology at the same time, everywhere. It's cheap, easy to use and mobile. And let's remember that instant messaging, email, smartphones, video, collaboration software and the like are tools – and tools only.

Where's the difference?

Share and share alike
There's a clue in the common purpose of many of these new technologies: to facilitate the sharing of information.

Indeed, this is exactly why the Internet was invented in the first place. Social media platforms like Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter are popular because people like to share. We have social brains, and our evolution has programmed us to connect (because it saved our early ancestors from the disruption of sabre-toothed tigers). Even Daniel Goleman, the acclaimed thought leader in emotional intelligence, now speaks of social intelligence.

We are genetically wired to engage and share with others and, in doing so, to adapt and respond and learn, which is precisely what the disruptive teams in places like Uber and Dropbox are doing so brilliantly. And they're doing it with the help (and at times hindrance) of new technologies.

Here are six things you can do to lead your team to be disruptors, or at least nimble adaptors.

1 Find the secret
We live in an age of information overload, bombarded with data 24/7.

We are most certainly sharing, and it's on a global scale that's faster, more frequent and, some would argue, less meaningful than ever before. The importance of focus can't be underestimated, as we must navigate through the distraction of always being ‘on.'

The better performers in this digital world derive their focus from the core belief that it's not so much which collaborative technology they use to share information (the tools are very similar), but whom they share it with and what they (collectively) do with it.

Fast disruptors know that technology can be duplicated, but there is one thing that can't be. In a disruptive world, the secret to success remains what it was thousands of years ago: the ability of people to work together toward a shared purpose. In a word, teamwork – but a more fluid and flexible style that suits a world that has seen its boundaries shatter in the face of globalization.

2 Make the secret scalable
While technology and globalization continue to disrupt the business landscape, they are not reinventing teamwork in their wake, but rather scaling it as a capability and culture.

The typical company circa 2016 has people dispersed across multiple locations and issues arising at the speed of light, which is why teamwork makes the business more than the sum of its parts. Great teamwork scaled across the business makes anything possible.

This is why a national 2014 employment survey in the US, as reported by Forbes, found that the skill employers looked for in their new recruits was the ability to work in a team structure. The second most important skill was the ability to communicate verbally with people inside and outside an organization.

3 Accelerate and share the learning
Business has always been a team sport, and there are many good reasons for this; however, one now stands alone as pivotal to organization survival and success.

Business is consumer-driven (or more specifically, customer-experience-driven), which means our teams must be agile, innovative and constantly learning how to optimize that experience for a customer who has abundant choice.

Shared learning is the key, because working alone or in silos of expertise reduces learning,growth and creativity. When there is no one to challenge us, we simply don't leverage our experience and ideas.

4 Escape the gravity of hierarchy and structure
Daniel Pink, acclaimed business thought leader, argues that we are now in the Conceptual Age, in which right-brain thinking reigns supreme. There is much evidence for this.

Pink talks of the necessity for organizational symphony: through empathy, intuition, play and meaning. The disruptive companies are enterprises more than organizations, unencumbered by the gravity of organizational hierarchy, process and division.

They play like they're in the Age of the Entrepreneur: risk-ready, nimble, wellconnected folk who thrive on change.

5 Harness the power of the whole team
The leaders of the most successful disruptive companies share their vision and move others to see it, too. They're marvellous storytellers, connecting with others, who in turn connect with them. They inspire people to think as one team, to move as one team and to learn as one team.

Think of a flock of migrating geese, which always fly in a V formation. Geese innately know the secret to great teamwork. They have a common destination and work in perfect unison. When a goose drops out of the V formation, it quickly discovers that it requires a great deal more effort and energy.

Geese help each other, too. When a goose gets sick or wounded, two geese drop out of the formation and follow their fellow member down to help provide protection. They stay with this member of the flock until he or she is either able to fly again or dies. Then they launch out on their own, creating another formation, or they catch up with their own flock.

6 Share the truth
The disruptors share the reality. They are not afraid of the truth. In fact, what they fear most are hidden agendas, silos and the status quo. As in professional sports, they make sure the whole team knows whether they have won or lost and why. The focus is always on what is best for the business, even if getting to the marrow of this takes some tough conversations. The leaders insist that they be challenged. They embrace feedback and tap into the power of their people, because a good idea can come from anywhere.

Make the secret yours
Technology gives us the power to communicate, collaborate and learn across great divides. Very few of us do this well. To prosper in today's markets takes real teamwork, and we are just beginning to harness technology to this end. Beware those who see technology as an end itself. Technology is the vehicle. It is who you take along for the ride and how you use the technology to share the challenges and opportunities that make the real difference. This is what it's really all about.

12 Major Keys to Mixing Friends and Business

Sure, you could keep your head down and forge ahead alone, but why?

HOW TO ASK A FRIEND FOR CAREER HELP
Because if you can't lean on your friends when times are uncertain, your career probably isn't the only thing that's unfulfilling.

STOP THINKING THAT NEEDING HELP IS GROSS.
"The default ideals of friendship are different for men and women," says law professor Joan C. Williams, the author of What Works for Women at Work. She says women tend to see friends as people with whom they have a selfless emotional connection — so asking for a leg up feels obnoxious — while men often feel zero self-consciousness about hitting up buddies. If you're feeling like the less-successful friend, asking for help doesn't make you a garbage person. "Don't whine or guilt trip the other person," Williams advises. Say, "I value your friendship and I'm looking to go farther in my career. Are you open to a conversation about it?"

GIVE YOUR FRIEND SPACE.
Don't slam a pal with a list of demands, cautions Rachel Kim, a career strategist at SoFi, the online lender. Ask, "What are you comfortable with?" If they don't suggest something that you had in mind, Kim suggests, follow up with, "Those are all fantastic ideas. I appreciate it. I was hoping you could also do X, although you may not feel comfortable with that. If so, I will never mention it again." Be direct about what you want, but stay attuned to the other person's limits.

USE TEAMWORK TO MAKE THE DREAM WORK.
Chances are at least one of your friends is also trying to make a career move, so do it together. "SoFi members come to me because I'm a coach, but I tell them to also use their friends because there's more investment in that relationship," Kim says. If writing cover letters feel like a drag, make it a drag for two. Some of Kim's clients meet once a week to discuss strategies or share contacts. She says it helps them stay accountable.

DON'T JUST TAKE ADVICE — GIVE IT.
"If you're in job search mode, you're probably meeting interesting people," Kim says. So even if you asked for support from a friend who is more senior than you, you can still offer to connect her. Life experiences are often overlooked as well. For example, new parents may crave wisdom from friends who have been there, done that, and come out with strong careers on the other side.

HOW TO BUILD NEW RELATIONSHIPS
Networking can get you a useless stack of business cards — or an army of allies. Here's how to do it right.

CHANGE YOUR VIEW OF COMPETITION.
When women are scarce at work, it's easy to fall into competition. "It doesn't occur to you that you're competing with every person at your job, not just the only other woman that looks like you," says Aminatou Sow, founder of Tech LadyMafia and co-host of the Call Your Girlfriend podcast. If there's a woman you don't click with, get to know her —maybe you could work with her and bolster you both. Sow calls it shine theory: "I don't shine if you don't shine."

STRAY FROM YOUR LANE.
Sow met journalist Ann Friedman, her co-host on Call Your Girlfriend, through a personal friend. "We didn't work in the same industry then and don't now, which is some- thing I have really valued," Friedman says. "I've learned a lot from how she negotiates for herself in her corner of the world, and I try to take cues from that, rather than fall into the default from my industry."

KEEP IN TOUCH — REALLY.
You meet some- one cool and say you'll email, but after weeks of silence, it gets awkward. "Weaker relationships matter too, especially when you're looking at a job search," Kim says. Hit for-mer colleagues up onLinkedIn and check in when they do something cool. "Build in semi-regular happy hours or dinners," Kim says. "You don't want to have to keep rebuilding your network each time you change jobs."

DON'T FORGET THE GUYS.
We'll never achieve equality at work without looping in men. Says Sow: "One of the best tips a friend gave me when I was negotiating a salary was, ‘Stop asking other women what they make, and ask the men in your industry what they make.' That was mindblowing!" She also added a men's auxiliary to TechLadyMafia, the group she runs to support women in tech — they plan the annual picnic.

HOW TO MANAGE WORK FRIENDSHIPS
They're a little tricky—and a whole lot important for your success (and sanity).

DON'T BE CLIQUISH.
If you find yourself in a tight-knit group, make sure everyone would feel comfortable approaching you. "You don't want to shut your doors to other relationships that could play a big role in your life," Kim says. Her tip: "Invite somebody to coffee every Friday who is somebody you've never talked to. It doesn't have to lead to a friendship, but you can build bridges."

KNOW HOW YOU COME ACROSS.
"I don't think I am intimidating, but I know that the word intimidating has been used to describe me," says Courtney A. Kemp, the creator of Power on Starz. "Be aware of what the perception of you is." She suggests doing recon by going out with a coworker and a non-work pal. "Ask your friend to listen to how you interact. Or say, ‘When I go to the bathroom, ask them something about me at work.'"

LET SOMEONE KNOW HOW THEY'RE DOING.
Just the word feedback can strike fear into your heart, but giving and receiving it can be bonding. Sow tells how, in a previous job at Google, there was "literally one other black woman at the time," a more senior manager she looked up to. "After we worked on a project together, she stopped by my desk to give me very specific feedback. It made my day, and she is very important to my career now."

PENCIL IN TIME TO SOCIALIZE.
We're obsessed with being productive. "People think, I don't have time for the social stuff," says Kemp. But as Kim notes, research shows when you're ready to take your career up a notch, it is going to be social relationships that help you get ahead. If Hermione Granger took breaks, you can too.

Working From Home Is Not Just So Great

Maybe I actually do like working from home but I’m not liking it now because I’m not home. And I’m not working.

I’m finding a cello teacher. Since the last teacher died, we are traveling all over the country navigating the world of cello teachers: Claremont, Chicago, Santa Monica, and now Aspen.

My son sometimes says out loud what everyone is thinking: “Wow, this is insane.” But there’s nothing like getting to a new hotel and finding out it’s next to a PokeStop to make him fine with all the travel.

I have pictures from our trips this summer, but I send them to Melissa who is my photo editor, and it’s like sending the pictures to a black hole. She waits until she has 200 pictures from me and then she edits them like a year later.

I ‘m sure she would edit my photos faster if she didn’t work from home. One reason psychologists recommend only periodic working from home is because it’s difficult to be productive.

I tried someone else to edit photos, but he threw out a great picture of my oldest son saying goodbye to his biology tutor as she goes off to college, and kept a picture of me with a double chin so big it looked like a brisket hanging off a cow.

Melissa pointed out that the new editor did not know my family personally and he was just editing to make an interesting picture. He did not care about importance of farewells and fatness on the blog.

So fine, Melissa is right. And we agreed she would edit the pictures of family, because she cares, and someone else would do other stuff. Which is why you are seeing Pokemon at the beach instead of my sons at the beach. Although to be honest, my sons did not swim. They just got their street clothes wet catching water-based Pokemon.


A lot of our cello travel is so we can meet the right people to find out about how to get to other people. That’s ostensibly a lesson in networking, but it’s a very specific type of networking: you make the other person feel valuable, because they are.

I remember the first time I wrote about research that says people who ask for advice do better in their careers. I thought to myself, “This is why I’m so successful. I ask so many questions.”

Later, I was older, still noticing research to show that people who ask good questions are the most successful. And I thought to myself, “That’s why I am able to identify star performers so quickly, because I see them asking good questions.”

I just read more research about asking questions. For a lot of people it feels like asking for help. And I think older peoples’ careers stagnate because they don’t want to ask for help.

So since I don’t want to feel old, what do you think I should do about photo editing? Should I be bold and crop stuff myself in Photoshop? Should I trust someone else to keep me looking thin? I’m sick of fighting with Melissa.

This would be a great time for a picture of us fighting. Melissa met me in Santa Monica last week, and I took pictures while she was yelling at me about how I don’t need more photos in order to write posts.

Do you think I should just keep publishing Pokemon GO photos to remind everyone that Melissa is too slow with my photos?

That was an example of a bad question that will not lead to success. It’s a leading question. And a disingenuous question. But it’s also a passive-aggressive question, so it feels good. At least in the moment. And anyway, if all I cared about was success, you’d hate reading this blog.

Tonight is the first live session of my course about personality type and dating. (Sign up!)  My son has tickets for the Aspen Music Festival which is the same time as the webinar. So I’ll drop him off at the concert and do the webinar in a quiet spot, with a great view, that you won’t see until Melissa is good and ready.

People will say they are sorry I had to miss the concert. But I love the webinars because I love talking with the people in the webinar. I miss having a job where I talk with people all day.

Cassie has an investor she meets every week. When he put money into her company I told her it’s important to meet with investors because good startup founders are always asking good questions of smart people. But he’s stupid. He doesn’t want to put more money into the company but he still wants to meet with her.

I am outraged. I tell her there is no point in meeting with him if he’s not part of the future of the company.

She says she meets with him because she works from home and there’s no one else she has a meeting with, ever.

I get it. Not everyone likes meetings. But for people who like to hear themselves talk, for people who think out loud, for people like me and Cassie, meetings are fun.

Cassie has a theory that all people will work from home in the future. But I don’t think so—it’s too lonely. Look, Inc magazine says it’s lonely, Forbes says it’s lonely, and these articles are written by freelancers who presumably choose to work from home. (They probably wrote the articles at a co-working space, because most people who join co-working spaces do it to have personal interaction.)

What people really want is flexible hours, and if they don’t say they’re working from home, they can’t get paid to do a webinar about dating and marriage at the Aspen Music Festival.

Hey, and wait. Here’s one more picture:



To annoy Melissa. Because I think fighting with Melissa is like Cassie meeting with her investor:  stupid and unnecessary but the only way to have consistent contact with a co-worker.